2005
January, 2005
Dumponcrash (1-10-05) (3:57) Listener calls Crash an “a-hole” and that he doesn’t know sports. Crash says he’s dyslexic and that he has brain tumors. Caller also tells him he’s a bad traffic reporter. “If you can’t take the criticism, get out of the kitchen!” Another listener calls to say that Crash is an idiot, and gives various reasons why. A third caller tells him he does a great job. Funny, funny, funny.
Meaganftstory (1-10-05) (3:42) Meagan, a stripper from Mardi Gras, is interviewed in the studio. Here she describes the “foot guy” who pays $1,200 to rub her feet. Discussion follows. Toucher smells her feet to see what it’s like. It doesn’t do anything for him.
Fatkidgirlsgonebananas (1-12-05) (10:51) Girls Gone Wild came to shoot in Athens, GA. FK took his microphone and went to Georgia Tech and told girls he worked for Chicks Gone Bananas and asked girls if he could sniff their feet, and when they refused, he asked if they would kick him in his nuts and other such things. After several refusals, he finally finds a girl who will let him do it. Brief discussion follows. Funny stuff.
Surfertsunamiguy ( 1-25-05) ( 16:18) After recent tsunami, joke call from surfer guy who says that with training, fewer people could have gotten hurt. Angry phone calls, lots of arguing. This bit includes the phone call only. Before the call, they had said it was a joke, but mentioned that listeners would miss the announcement and call to argue. After the call, they revealed the joke with further discussion, but none of that is recorded.
Fatkidgivestalkatschool ( 1-27-05) ( 17:25) FK took off a day from work to speak to classes at his old high school. Local paper featured his visit, identifying him as the “associate producer.” Audio from his visit. FK’s pet expression: “Hey, hot dog!” Lots of discussion, funny stuff. Wally: “Make it stop!” Phone calls, more discussion.
Mexicansat99X (1-28-05) (14:25) Discussion of the success of the Spanish-only station Viva. FK brought a group of migrant workers to the studio. Through translator-intern Debra, they ask their guests about Viva, and has Debra tell them Viva is evil. Debra refuses. “I feel so dirty!” Jimmy: “That’s because you’re Mexican!” Instead, Wally tells them: “Viva es malo. . . .99X es muy bueno.” Toucher has Debra tell them more things. A Spanish-speaking listener calls to translate Toucher for the workers. Listener convinces workers to listen to 99X from now on. Further discussion.
SebastianinDCprotesters (1-28-04) (17:50) President Bush was inaugurated, and Sebastian went to the Capitol to check it out. Toucher discusses modern hippies, and Sebastian describes the crowd of protestors. Audio from hippy crowd chants. Further discussion. Phone calls. More talk about protesters. Audio from Sebastian trying to “revive” someone in the “die-in.” Funny stuff. More discussion, phone calls. Interesting discussion with caller near end.
February, 2005
Fatkidasnudgejoshgrobinconcert (2-2-05) (13:35) Story behind “Hot mom check in, what-what” by Nudge on Star 94. Toucher tells what he and Nudge do when they hang out. Toucher asks why FK didn’t come up with a similar bit like “hot mom check in.” Discussion of Josh Grobin. FK poses as “Pudge” from “94” at the Josh Grobin concert, doing a “Big momma check-in,” “A-cup check in,” “drunk mom check in,” “cankle check in” because she didn’t have any ankles, “slutty mom check in,” and “dressing like a prostitute.” At the end a policeman speaks very sternly to him. Funny stuff, classic Fat Kid.
axelsuperbowlguy (2-8-05) (11:15) Toucher discusses the phone call with Durwood Fincher, a “professional doubletalker” posing as a Grammys producer interviewed by afternoon jock Axel. He speaks without actually saying anything, doubletalking, mumbling, and saying nonsense words. Axel doesn’t understand anything he says. Funny stuff.
Donshaynews7-8 (2-8-05) (10:28) (is LOUD) Donshay reads the news. Hurricane Dennis, Donshay is quizzed on what to do in case of a hurricane and on Florida’s border states, Jimmy gives out Donshay’s cell phone number again, Donshay announces a train crash in London, Donshay thinks London is located in South America and that they speak “oonoodoo.” He also offers suggestions on what Londoners should do to be careful. He says that if he sees an Arab guy on the Marta, he will kick his ass. He also announces a drowning in Fayette County. Leslie comments that she likes how Donshay puts in his own opinions in addition to the news. They take a phone call from someone in town from London who speaks with Donshay. He then does sports. Very interesting moments with Donshay.
fatkidhotmomLA (2-15-05) (8:50) (very low level) Discussion about trip to LA, audio from Fat Kid at Venice Beach using Nudge from Star 94’s “Hot mom check in, what-what?” routine. He actually gets some of the women to respond. Funny stuff. This is followed with further discussion and audio from when FK ran into the same bum as he did on the year before. More “go away!!!!” “I’ll bust yuh mouth!” Hilarious threats from the bum. The police later tell FK to stay away from the bums.
Fakescottweylandinterview (2-16-05) (7:55) Discussion of fake radio interviews. Email from listener to Barnes regarding alleged fake Grammy interviews. Recording follows of Toucher doing Barnes doing a very fake interview with Scott Weyland. Discussion follows about Barnes.
fatkidmarriageretreat (2-23-05) (16:40) FK and his wife went to a marriage retreat in Pigeon Forge. FK wore a hidden microphone at the retreat, and they play the audio he recorded at the different events. Phone calls, discussion, more skits, more calls, Wally defends FK’s group. Good stuff.
March 2005
Fatkidboatshowgetsarrested (3-7-05) (17:53) Fat Kid went to the Boat Show. He climbed aboard one of the biggest boats and yelled “I’m the captain of the boat” and blew an air horn. Undercover police pulled him off the boat and pushed him on the ground and handcuffed him. He was arrested and put in the drunk tank. The show discusses this event, and then play a recording by the sheriff’s office who called 99X and left a message saying FK was arrested. The lawyer defending FK calls, followed by a discussion of FK’s jail visit, and more phone calls. Interesting day for FK.
Jimmyatmichaeljacksontrial (3-16-05) (13:21) Jimmy took a vacation to California. While there, he drove from Palm Springs to Santa Maria for the Michael Jackson trial. Jimmy describes the scene outside the courthouse. The audio includes interviews with spectators. Phone calls follow. Good stuff.
Spat1 (3-17-05) (7:16) (has dropouts) “Irish Fat” St Patricks Day mania starts with Toucher bringing up A League of their Own and Field of Dreams. Fat Kid is up to shot 10 at this point, and every time someone says “Brasher” (FK’s inlaws who hate him) he takes a shot of vodka. Backline bit with Brian Nichols: If you could punish Brian Nichols, how would you do it? Brief discussion follows.
Stpat2withcrash ( 3-17-05) ( 10:20) Irish Fat continues, FK takes shot 11. Crash tells story about what he thought was an intruder in his house the night before. Mentions how marriage is in trouble. Phone calls and discussion follow.
Stpat3 ( 3-17-05) ( 4:54) FK takes shot 12. “I will follow U2” call, FK takes shot 13. They announce upcoming interview with Richard Cohen. FK feels being gay is “wrong.”
Stpat4tonyscottinterview ( 3-17-05) ( 11:57) Opens with a phone call for FK to take shot 14. “Karaoke is a redneck thing to do.” Dale Earnhardt Jr. discussion, contest with callers about questions FK had asked Tony Stewart: how much FK weighed (FK weighs about 240), how much he makes per year (didn’t say, but it’s 18,000), how old is he (24), how many grades did he complete in school (almost 13), how long could he stand to be in a room with FK (ten days), and how many beers would it take for Tony to bang Shaunessie, (zero).
Stpat5richardcoheninterview ( 3-17-05) ( 15:35) FK takes shot 15 and talks over part of Temple of the Dog’s Say Hello to Heaven. Afterwards, FK interviews Richard Cohen who wrote about how he used to be gay and is now straight. FK takes shot 16 during interview, belches into mic. Funny stuff.
Stpat6sixtysecondsdayoff ( 3-17-05) ( 5:26) FK takes shot 17. Brief chatter with a drunk FK, 60 Seconds for Day Off commercial for White Wolf Publishing, which publishes books on role playing. Funny bit. Brief discussion follows.
Stpat7fktaklstofatherinlaw ( 3-17-05) 18:04) This is the segment the show has been leading up to: FK talks to his father-in-law about why he hates FK. Lots of drama, FK screams and calls him a “dirty redneck scum.” You’ve NEVER heard FK like this before. His father-in-law hangs up, and after FK calms down, they call him back. More discussion. And for some reason, this is the last segment I saved.
April, 2005
Louisaftermath (4-21-05) (6:23) Louis lost the “Win Intern Heather” contest and now makes weekly studio appearances. In this routine, the morning show was trying to find a girl for Louis. Discussion follows. They play “audio” of Louis visiting the massage parlor where he lost his virginity. Funny stuff.
July, 2005
Fkjesuspicture (7-7-05) (9:38) Crash does traffic, Freedom of Choice 1000 is back, Toucher talks about article in AJC about the “Jesus pictures” at the Plaza Fiesta on Buford Highway. Discussion. FK had his picture taken while holding a chicken. Further discussion about FK’s gaining weight follows. Phone call, show looks at pictures of FK in the pool at Toucher’s wedding.
Jimmydiscussesnoodling (7-12-05) (1:34) Jimmy was watching a special on PBS about “noodling,” catching catfish with bare hands. Jimmy calls Toucher who was watching it himself. Funny discussion.
Hippyfamilyfeud (7-12-05) (17:38) “Hippy Family Feud” bit. Callers try to guess how hippies at a Dave Matthews show will answer questions asked by FK. Good stuff.
TouchermadatFK (7-12-05) (5:13) Toucher discusses how Todd the Butler is mad at FK, and Toucher talks about his own displeasure with FK. Leslie: “Maybe he just moves slow.” Toucher says FK was looking for a Pizza Hut with a buffet while he was supposed to be working. Callers. Funny stuff. Interesting to observe the progression of FK since 2004.
touchertalkstoFK (7-13-05) (3:23) Toucher discusses his issues with FK, who admits that sometimes he doesn’t understand what Toucher is asking for. Leslie feels FK has gotten lazy. Toucher talks about upcoming “Beat the Tickets out of FK” bit. They discuss FK’s preparations.
Fatkidpaintball (7-13-05) (12:25) “Beat the tickets out of Fat Kid” bit. While Wally was out of town this past week, FK drove Toucher crazy. Listeners shoot paintballs at FK, aiming for the tickets taped around his body. Laugh along as FK wails in pain. Toucher: “This is what people do for fun!”
Sexualharrassment7-21 (7-21-05) (29:05) Recent news of a sexual harassment case irks Toucher. Song follows (sorry), Leslie recaps story about male sexual harassment suit at University of Nevada, Reno. Toucher discusses the suit. Phone calls from listeners about sexual harassment in the workplace. Interesting stuff.
Harrypotterending1 (7-24) (13:01) In the newspile, Leslie reports that many readers didn’t like the ending to the new Harry Potter novel. A listener calls to comment on the ending, then Jimmy tells him to give say it on air: the headmaster dies. Discussion, then Fred’s wacky songs follow. Angry listeners start calling.
Harrypotterending2 (11:10) Discussion of the Harry Potter ending continues. Emails and more phone calls.
Harrypotterending3 (7:00) More discussion and listener calls regarding the ending to Harry Potter. Listen for a surprise and rare appearance by general manager Mark Renier.
August 2005
Toucherdrunk1 (8-26-05) This week Toucher was looking for a new friend. Today the final contestants visited the studio. Toucher had intended for everyone to get drunk, but he was the only member of the show to drink. These audio bits were recorded after 8:30, and as you listen to each, you can hear how more inebriated Toucher gets until the show's end. Funny stuff.
Toucherdrunk2 (4:50) Fred pours more drinks with contestant Jackie and greenass Sebastian, Crash (currently on vacation) calls and says he’s not coming in, but surprises them by walking into the studio. Fred: “When we come brack—“
Toucherdrunk3 (5:35) Opens with Louis with traffic, Toucher recaps the “Find Fred’s Friend” contest, Jimmy: “Well, we’re ten minutes away from a gangbang here on 99X,” Fred does a Jaeger shot, contestant Jason has had eleven vodka shots, Fred calls Leslie “Layslie,” then goes into a song: Fred: “Turn off the mics, idiot!”
Toucherdrunk4 (12:24) It’s 9:14, Toucher says he’s at “3” on a drunk scale of 1 to 10. Fred introduces Kim Lichtenstein, Kim gives the reacharound while Fred constantly interrupts, callers follow, FK pours Fred and Crash more Jaeger, Toucher’s speech is noticeably worse, they tease newspile. Toucher is at three Jaegers and six vodka/orange juices.
Toucherdrunk5 (11:15) Toucher’s speech is getting worse, slurring is very evident. Toucher backsells his Friend contest, Toucher admires the passed-out Jackie on couch, caller admonishes Toucher for not being drunk enough, he tells female caller to “shut up for a second,” caller suggests drinking games, Toucher: “Do I seem stupid to you guys?”
Toucherdrunk6 (7:29) A slurring Toucher explains Friend contest and why he’s drinking, contestant Jason speaks into mic and announces his band Crashing Through Trees, James speaks next and Toucher throws him out after deciding he was an annoying drunk, Angel speaks on the phone next, Toucher names both Angel and James as the dual winners of the contest.
Toucherdrunk7 (12:36) Toucher starts with What Did We Learn Today. Toucher slurs “What the hell are you still listening to us, you stupid idiot?” Discussion of contestants, Toucher talks to Leslie about getting drunk, caller says Toucher is an “irritable care bear” when drunk, more callers, show agrees that Toucher is at “6” and he takes another Jaeger shot, they discuss what’s coming up that weekend, Toucher slurs “And I hate myself so I’m gonna mutilate myself with several razors and scissors around the house, so I hope you hear that.” The passed-out Jackie gets carried out of the studio. Jimmy: “Another successful show when people get carried out.” A classic show with lot of laughs.
September 2005
Petdiscintro (9-26-05) (5:10) Discussion about Jimmy giving his wife birthday cards from the dogs. Toucher asks listeners to call if they give cards from pets. Callers and discussion follow. Todd the Butler is sent to Jimmy’s house to get cards.
Petdisending (9-26-05) (13:21) Toucher begins reading Jimmy’s cards from the dogs. Toucher wants to call Jimmy a word that rhymes with “haggot.” Kim Lichtenstein is introduced, and a Fallout Boy song begins. After song, Toucher explains the story behind the cards and reads more examples. Phone calls follow.
Davestdave (9-28-05) (8:34)Another side-splitting morning with the DSD Morning Gang. Dave is a little tired and requests some crystal meth because “Dave could use a little bumparoo.” Interview with lady regarding teaching politeness and correct manners to children. The DSD crew keeps asking the lady why she wants them to “hit kids” versus talking to them. Phone call from “Joey” is included. Dave asks “Why are negroes rude?”
Davestfollowup (9-28-05) (5:20) The show discusses the quality of the DSD bit, includes callers: some like it, some don’t.
cardiscussion (9-28) (3:04) Following a story in the newspile, show members discuss their first cars. Jimmy: 1984 Camaro, Wally: 1979 TransAm, Leslie: a “chick Camaro,” Toucher: 1987 Bronco II.
whatlearntodayftcom (9-28) (2:26) WDWLT discussion of Toucher’s Tyrone voice on DSD, they thank the fredtoucher.com crowd for appreciating Dave St. Dave.
October 2005
toucherstudio (10-1) (7:27) Starts with Toucher saying what’s coming tonight, but he gets angry and goes on a rant because a promotions assistant enters studio. Discussion and phone calls follow. Toucher then lays out the rules to when someone may enter the studio which includes a terrorist attack and a death in the family.
Limostory (10-3-05) (20:37) It’s a big download, but worth it. Toucher and FK discuss the trip in the limousine after Limerick Junction when taking out the winners from Toucher’s Friend contest, plus some other “hot chicks.” In short, it was a limo ride filled with debauchery. Donshay speaks near the end.
Jimmysmotherdisc (10-3-05) (12:48) Opens with Crash telling about traveling with his mother, and the gifts he would get when she would run away from his dad. Discussion follows about Jimmy traveling on vacation with his mother. Jimmy’s mother visits the studio, and Toucher asks about their sharing rooms. Callers follow, further discussion.
Jimmyonvacation (10-4-05) (1:20) Toucher discusses how he has to go to the Jewish New Year party the next day with Jimmy’s family.
Painfulmemories (10-4-05) (16:25) Discussion about show members’ painful childhood memories. Phone calls follow. It shouldn’t be any surprise that Crash has the most warped story.
Worstsongdiscussion ( 10-10-05) ( 19:48) The show discusses the worst pop songs ever recorded according to Maxim magazine. This clip starts with #4. Phone calls and further discussions follow. Interesting stuff.
Gettingfiredstories ( 10-11-05) ( 16:23) Discussion about dramatic ways of getting fired. Show members discuss ways they lost jobs, then take listener calls.
Racismtalk ( 10-14-05) ( 4:29) Toucher takes a call from a listener who accuses him of racism regarding his comments about New Orleans. Good discussion follows.
Righteousdads ( 10-14-05) ( 17:17) Discussion of “righteous dads.” Lots of great phone calls. Bit segues into Take it or Leave It.
SteveshowMCHelium ( 10-24-05) ( 4:30) Discussion about when MC Helium spent the afternoon with Todd the Butler the day before. Among other things Todd recorded MC repeating “ Fred Toucher from 99X!” To be hilarious, they put the piece of MC saying that statement into the second song slot of the Steve Show. This clip includes the discussion and the piece of Steve’s show when the bit was played. Steve recovers quickly from the surprise and fires the next song right away.
November, 2005
Fkintroublept1 (11-1-05) (11:50) Opens with Toucher discussing a website that talked about “if you’re gay, you do this, etc.” He wonders how gay people can tell if another person is gay and sent FK out to find a gay person to help them out. Audio from FK meeting gay people in the park is played.. “So, you’re really not gay? You look gay.” Clip includes “faked” audio from FK. This segment segues into the trouble FK got into for the picture of him groping a girl at Brouhaha.
Fkintroublept2wmeagan (11-1-05) (18:35) Discussion with FK’s marriage trouble continues from previous clip. Toucher suggests FK gets Meagan on the phone so she can tell her side of things. Major discussion and phone calls follow.
Gaycontestpart1 (11-2-05) ( 15:08) Toucher wants to find out who is the “gayest” in the TJ&L show. They send FK out to find a gay man, and find Alan walking his Yorkshire terrier in Piedmont Park and invites him to the studio as an unqualified expert. According to Jimmy, Alan is “right out of the catalog.” Alan asks the show members various questions so he can make his determination. Clip includes audio of Crash at 16 in the swimming pool.
Gaycontestpart2 (11-2-05) ( 16:30) The interview continues. Topics include mouth tricks, male roommates, and types of cars. A caller notes that Wally’s voice register has dropped several octaves. Jimmy reveals to Alan that he traveled to Broadway in New York with his mother. Alan makes his decision. Least to most gay: Crash, Fred, Jimmy, and Wally. He was not pleased: “I am all man! I will do a chick right now, Leslie, get over here!” Alan: “You should be honored.” Great show all around.
Wallyrachelbolan ( 11-3-05) ( 9:25) Wally wrote and recorded a song about his idol, Rachel Bolan, from Skid Row. While Bolan is on the phone, they play the song for him. It has a very “Every Rose Has a Thorn” vibe to it. Discussion and phone calls follow.
Freddoesstapp ( 11-3-05) ( 2:55) Following a newspile story about Scott Stapp, Toucher talks as Stapp in response to the story. Great stuff.
Darrelhammond ( 11-4-05) ( 18:37) It’s McDonald’s Open House, and featured are in-studio guests reacting to the show. It’s always cool when they do this since it gives the show a very “live” feel. Darrel Hammond is interviewed in this clip.
Toucherwallyupset ( 11-4-05) ( 8:24) Wally answered the phone during Hammond’s interview and Toucher yells at him for it. Lots of laughter from the studio audience.
Audiencequestions ( 11-4-05) ( 10:15) The McDonald’s Open House continues with questions answered from the studio audience.
Toucherintrouble (11-14-05) (17:12) Toucher has been told by Cumulus management to apologize for not liking the new Atlanta song recorded and say on air that he likes it. If not, he could be fired. He refuses. The show discusses the situation and take phone calls until Jimmy reveals that it has all been a joke. Laugh-out-loud comedy.
Jimmycallsdonshay (11-15-05) (4:24) Jimmy had given Donshay Lakers tickets a few days prior and decided to call Donshay to see how he liked the game. Turned out Donshay scalped the tickets. Funny moment focused on Jimmy.
Touchertroubleday2 (11-15-05) (8:41) Toucher discusses the prank played on him from previous day. Their candid discussion recorded during the commercial break is played. Discussion follows.
Closertotheheart (11-18-05) (12:30) Toucher and company perform Closer to the Heart with special guest Butch Walker. Toucher sings. Clip includes discussion from both before and after performance, including listener calls. This is something you won’t hear the average morning show do.
Donshaytvset (11-21-05) (5:30) Jimmy gave Donshay a TV set, but with the stipulation that he runs two blocks down Roswell Road carrying it. Donshay refused all morning until they finally talked him into it. FK accompanied him on his run, but unbeknownst to Donshay and the radio audience was that after Donshay started running, FK started yelling “That black man stole my TV! Stop him! Stop that black man!” Great stuff.
December, 2005
Christmasgiftdisc (12-5-05) ( 9:09) Christmas is coming and TJ&L discuss giftgiving from relatives, especially senior citizens. FK took his mic to Pigeon Forge Tennessee to interview some old people about what might be an appropriate gift for a 16 year old.
Sebastianhand ( 12-2-05) ( 6:23) Sebastian was sent on a Marta train to ask passengers what the smell on his hand was. Another interesting sociological experiment performed by one of their best greenasses.
Davstdavepartyplan ( 12-5-05) ( 8:31) For the last time in 2005 the Dave St. Dave Morning Gang gets together for an phone interview with a party planner. The best part is that the lady seems to know she is getting put on, but is really enjoying the whole thing and laughs all throughout. Great stuff. DSD at its best.
